the motions

I don’t typically write with a lot of detail about my personal life, but I’ve experienced a close death, and tomorrow night marks one month since. I am still in a state of fluctuation; some days are just more difficult than others. Realistically, there’s nothing I can do to change that except allow time to “take care of things,” but I certainly didn’t expect to have to deal with this at this point in my life. I recognize that I am in a depressive state, and again, time will help. It’s just that I know the motions I’m going through, but I can’t skip forward to the end, which is what I’d like to do.