Little Steps, Big Dreams

All right, folks... I'm back.

I've got a lot of plans, and I'm really hoping this is the time they actually stick. I need some follow-through.

I've always had a heck of a time focusing on the goals I set for myself, so I'm hoping a little body doubling will help this week and maybe beyond. Sometimes I come up with the best ideas. I can see exactly how they'll work, I know the steps to get there, and I can picture the finished result. But actually doing the thing? That's where everything falls apart.

And it falls apart for all kinds of reasons.

Sometimes it's laziness. Sometimes I can't seem to focus. Sometimes... if I'm being honest... it's fear. That's the hardest one to admit because there's no logical reason I should be scared. But fear doesn't always care about logic.

I'm keeping this fairly general because this applies to almost every part of my life where I'm trying to build something new. Although, truthfully, it isn't new at all. These ideas have been living in my head for years. I'm just finally trying to drag them into reality instead of letting them stay dreams.

This website is probably the best example.

For years it's mostly been my journal. A place to dump thoughts, document life, and occasionally yell into the void. The art side of it... displaying sketchbook pages, sharing finished pieces, eventually selling prints... has always been sitting on the tiniest back burner imaginable.

The funny thing is I actually have the time.

Because of how my day job works, I'm incredibly lucky. I have extra time during the day that I could be putting toward these personal projects. And if I'm honest with myself, I'm not using that time efficiently. If I were, I'd be a lot further along than I am now.

I can absolutely call myself out on that.

The opportunity has been sitting right in front of me. It's been within reach the whole time, and for one reason or another, I just haven't grabbed it. I have my reasons, and some of them are valid, but they shouldn't have stopped me for this long.

So here we are. It's the beginning of July, and I'm genuinely trying to get my shit together.

Maybe by this time next year this website will look completely different. Maybe there will be artwork filling these pages. Maybe I'll actually be selling prints and creating things I'm proud of. Maybe this little dream won't feel so little anymore.

The possibility is there.

I just have to keep showing up.

I think one of the biggest hurdles has always been imposter syndrome. Putting your art out into the world is weirdly vulnerable. You're basically saying, "Hey... here's a piece of my brain. Hope you don't hate it."

But the more I think about it, the more I realize art is just... art.

Yes, there are techniques to learn. There are fundamentals that make you a stronger artist. But style? Style belongs to the artist. There isn't one correct way to create something.

I remember being a kid in art class and having teachers tell me something I drew or colored was "wrong." Even back then that never made sense to me.

No... that's not wrong.

That's how I wanted to draw it.

That's how I wanted to color it.

That's how I wanted it to exist.

I've been carrying that little argument around with me for most of my life, whether I realized it or not.

So maybe it's time to stop worrying about whether my art is "good enough" and just start making it. Keep practicing. Keep sharing. Keep improving.

Little steps.

That's all this really is.

Not one giant leap. Not some overnight success story.

Just one small step after another, repeated often enough that one day I'll look back and realize I actually built the thing I kept dreaming about.