“plans”

Here we go again for the… eh… 3rd time now? I’ve started this post a few times since last week but here we are now. I came back! Ha!

My portfolio is slowly filling, from roughs to finshed works and I’m pretty exticed about that. It’s still a struggle to try and get into the “creation mode” when I have no real space to create in. Distractions are REAL and I can’t easily slip into the headspace that I do all of my creating in whenever I want. I dream that I’ll hae a space someday but it keeps getting pushed off. Initially it was a “plan” to give me an art space each time we moved. Due to a lot of factors, it keeps getting pushed off. We were planning (there’s that word again) to move this Summer when our lease came up but it turns out were not wealthy enough to move. Rent is absolutly insane for the teeny tiny space you get. I could go on a whole rant but why… it’s just something to stress me out. So if you sit back and look, my “plan” of creating a spae for me will have been pushed back a decade by the time we can attempted to move again.

Short of winning a lottery a or a prince in another country giving me his wealth, I have little to no hope of having a space all to myself again.

In all honestly, it’s just easier not to hope because there’s no dissapointment when it never ever happens. I’m just trying to make do with what I have and even though it’s a struggle, there have been a few momentes of clairty where I find myself creating. They dont really last too long but when it does happen, it’s special.