The Shape of Change

Things are changing in really good ways. Physically and mentally, I feel better than I have in what feels like ages. I continue to lose weight while strengthening and reshaping my body, but the bigger transformation has honestly been happening in my mind. I’m relearning how to think about certain things, unlearning habits that no longer serve me, and rebuilding myself with far more intention than I ever have before.

This is probably the healthiest I’ve been in my entire life… both mentally and physically. And for the first time in a very long time, I have real goals. Not impossible dreams floating somewhere out of reach, but actual attainable goals that I can see myself achieving… especially with the support and encouragement around me now.

I think for years I’ve felt like I was waiting for something, though I never really knew what it was. Maybe it was this. Maybe it was this transformation waiting quietly beneath all the exhaustion, hurt, and stagnation. Strange as it is to admit, some of this growth was born from negative feelings and painful moments. But without walking through that fire, I would not be where I am now. I would not have been forced to grow. I would not have met this version of myself.

I feel like there’s more I want to say, but maybe there doesn’t need to be tonight. Maybe it’s enough just to recognize the change while it’s happening.