Good days

This morning I sat outside with Bella on the deck for a little while. It actually had stormed in the early morning hours so everything was still wet. Bella made her way through the open back door and found a spot to lay, I suppose, enjoying the outside cool morning weather. She normally has a thing about not getting wet but didn't even care today and just laid down on the damp wood. It is outside her normal behavior to want to go outside. Historically I could pick her up and walk her around the yard and she'd look around until she got too anxious and then wanted to go back in. Not today. I found myself sitting outside for a couple hours this morning just letting Bella be happy.

I did eventually scoop her up and bring her inside for a little bit longer where she drink a little bit of water and had a few licks of butter. She took a nap while I worked on building some D&D Terrain all the while glancing over my shoulder every few minutes to make sure she's still okay. It's now afternoon and I've been sitting outside for another hour because Bella wanted back out on the deck. We're just sitting in the middle of the deck I'm petting her and she's just purring away. She seems pretty happy she's just kind of flopped over so I could pet her tummy and kicked her leg in the air.

A lot of these actions today are not normal for her but I'll do whatever I can to make her happy, I don't know how much longer she'll be here. I feel like I lose my mind everyday thinking about it at least for a few hours. There's nothing I can do except for make her comfortable. I'm not sure how long we'll sit out here maybe until she falls asleep and I'll scoop her up and take her inside again.

She is very literally a big chunk of my heart and it breaks every day.